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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24967501">Last Dance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fab_fan/pseuds/fab_fan'>fab_fan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MFS Week [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dancing, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Follow up, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Slow Dancing, Unit Unity, Why Did I Write This?, You asked for this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 11:13:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,920</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24967501</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fab_fan/pseuds/fab_fan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Time was already passing by. She needed to go back to headquarters. Back to the safehouse and tell others, tell Willa, what the army offered. What they were willing to agree to. What it would take for them to finally join forces and end the bloodshed. </p><p>She had to go.</p><p>She couldn’t go.</p><p>Not without one last chance.</p><p>(Be Sure To Read The Notes!!!!)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>MFS Week [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>338</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>BE SURE TO READ CHAPTER 5 (One Last Dance) OF MFS Week 2020!!!! </p><p>This is a follow up to that story. If you skip it, some of this might not make sense. At all.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scylla walked out of the room, inhaling deeply as her mind worked to process what she’d just been told.</p><p>How the Spree and Army were going to fight the Camarilla.</p><p>How Raelle was vital to the Accord.</p><p>How her and Raelle were vital to...everything.</p><p>Raelle.</p><p>Goddess, Raelle.</p><p>
  <em> “Her name is Collar, and she wants to know why you’re making her girlfriend stand outside in the cold.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Can we dance? One song?” Raelle asked, voice so soft Scylla almost didn’t hear her. “Let me have one more song.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She chuckled bitterly, “Right. Of course.” She stepped around Scylla, glaring at Anacostia, “We all like our secrets, don’t we.” </em>
</p><p>Muted music wafted in from the nearby ballroom, and Scylla knew Raelle was inside. Probably mingling with her fellow soldiers. Sipping on punch while talking with Tally and Abigail.</p><p>
  <em> “You want to hear that you broke me, Scyl? That I’m no good for anyone else because I was stupid enough to give my heart to someone who never wanted it?” </em>
</p><p>Her head turned to look toward the room as she began to walk by. From this angle she could make out little groups of soldiers sipping from pewter cups and chatting. A flash of movement brought dancers into focus, spinning and twirling around to the beat the strings and drums sung out.</p><p>She should go.</p><p>She had already almost been caught once.</p><p>Her feet stopped.</p><p>It was dangerous being there. Any second someone could spot her, recognize her, question her, hand her over to Alder before any sort of Accord could formally be signed. </p><p>Throw her back in the basement, back in a cell, and this time never let her go.</p><p>Never let her be free.</p><p>Never let her see the girl she loved again.</p><p>Time was already passing by. She needed to go back to headquarters. Back to the safehouse and tell others, tell Willa, what the Army offered. What they were willing to agree to. What it would take for them to finally join forces and end the bloodshed. </p><p>She had to go.</p><p>
  <em> “Can we dance? One song?” Raelle asked, voice so soft Scylla almost didn’t hear her. “Let me have one more song.” </em>
</p><p>She couldn’t go.</p><p>Not without one last chance.</p><p>One last glimpse.</p><p>One last moment.</p><p>Locking her jaw, she made her way toward the ballroom, careful to not let eyes land on her long enough to notice. Ducking into the room, she stood off to the side, eyes scanning the room as she hid from any curious glances.</p><p>Blue uniform after blue uniform filled her gaze.</p><p>She lifted up onto her toes, ankles protesting at the move. She tried to use the extra bit of height to see to the other end of the room.</p><p>The ballroom was large, yet every inch, it seemed, was filled with people. Couples dancing, groups mingling, individuals pouring themselves punch or threading through the chaos. A few older officers were easily visible, enjoying a night with their charges.  </p><p>She thought for a moment she spotted Izadora.</p><p>She saw so many people. So many faces.</p><p>None of them Raelle’s.</p><p>Where was she?</p><p>She had to be there.</p><p>She wouldn’t have left.</p><p>Wouldn’t be gone.</p><p>“Bit far from the prison cells, isn’t it?”</p><p>Scylla froze.</p><p>When she found her voice, she snarked, “It was the Necro basement, actually.” Twisting her face into a look of mundane confidence, Scylla turned to face Abigail Bellweather.</p><p>Bellweather was dressed in her uniform, just like everyone else. Polished and stalwart, her boots were shiny enough one could probably be blinded by the reflection. Her brown eyes glared at her, mouth in an unimpressed frown, yet, in the glare, Scylla felt something...different. Something she couldn’t quite pinpoint, but she had never felt from the blaster before.</p><p>“Enjoying our party?” Abigail asked, “Or was sneaking in not worth it?”</p><p>Scylla exhaled, “Should I run now, or are you giving me a five second head start?”</p><p>Abigail studied her, “You’re cocky for someone who could be arrested with a snap of my fingers.”</p><p>“When you snap, at least do it in time with the beat.”</p><p>The glare hardened, “I wouldn’t joke about that. From my understanding, you’ve already almost had the MPs called on you once.”</p><p>She had spoken to Raelle. Scylla’s jaw ticked and her brows flickered, “You’ve seen her.”</p><p>Abigail rolled her eyes, “Do I need to tell you to stay away from her, or does that go without saying?”</p><p>Scylla licked her lips, “Is she still here?” If she had to deal with Abigail Bellweather to see Raelle, she would do it. She would go through hell to see her.</p><p>“What’s your game, Ramshorn?”</p><p>A sarcastic comment jumped to the tip of her tongue, but Scylla swallowed it back down. Her shoulders slumped slightly. She was so tired of fighting. So tired of everyone telling her what to do and none of them saying she could see the girl she needed to see more than anything. “I just want to see her.”</p><p>“Thought you already did.”</p><p>Scylla pressed a hand to her forehead before letting it drop back to her side, “Do you want me to ask nicely? Beg? Grovel at a High Atlantic’s feet?”</p><p>Abigail stepped closer, “No,” her tone changed, “I want to know if my sister is about to get her heartbroken again.”</p><p>Scylla leaned back, the words like a punch to her gut.</p><p>Abigail stared into her eyes, not letting them go, “I had to live through Raelle losing you. I am not living through that again. I don’t know what’s going on. But, I love her, and you are not messing with her life again.”</p><p>“Bellweather,”</p><p>Abigail interrupted her, “Get your shit together. I can’t believe I have to say this, but you either are with her or you’re not. Either you’re all in, or you walk out that door before I kick your ass and then hand you over to Alder.” </p><p>Scylla swallowed thickly, the words heavy in the air. The confession came out soft yet sure, “I love her.”</p><p>Abigail nodded, “Ok.” She abruptly turned on her heel and began to walk away, “I can’t believe I’m doing this. The damn things I do for that shitbird.” </p><p>Scylla watched her take a few steps before Abigail turned her head, glare back in full effect and barrelling down on her, “Let’s go, Necro.”</p><p>With only a moment’s more hesitation Scylla followed her. They kept to the perimeter of the room, carefully walking until Scylla felt the air leave her lungs and her eyes widen.</p><p>There, near a small side table, Raelle stood, her back to them as she listened to Tally talk while a boy...Byron, if she thinks back to who Raelle once told her about...stood close by, soulful comforting eyes on his friend. The blonde was leaning heavily against the table, elbow and forearm splayed across the top while her hand cradled a drink. She looked as worn down as Scylla felt. Drained. Tired of the life other’s choices, their own choices, had thrust upon them.</p><p>On the precipice of despair.</p><p>But, in Scylla’s mind, in this very moment, they were on the verge of careful cautious hope.</p><p>Tally spotted them first, her eyes widening and shooting to Abigail questioningly. Finding whatever she needed in Abigail’s returned look, Tally smiled welcomingly at Scylla, “Hey, Scylla.” Byron’s eyebrows rose, “Scylla?”</p><p>Scylla watched Raelle tense, the muscles in her back rippling and locking beneath the uniform jacket, her neck and spine ramrod straight, before she tilted around to face them.</p><p>Scylla absently offered Tally a nod, her entire focus on Raelle as she cautiously approached. “Raelle.”</p><p>Raelle gulped silently, “What are you still doing here?”</p><p>Scylla stared into deep blue eyes, bright with confusion, wariness...and hope. Love. Smoothing her hands down her dress, Scylla offered a small smile, “You asked me for one more dance. We didn’t get to finish.” Her own eyes sparkled with everything in her heart, “What sort of date would I be if I didn’t get at least one whole song with you?”</p><p>The words hung in the air between them.</p><p>She could feel eyes staring at her. Feel the bustle of the room around them. Feel the energy of the young women and men. </p><p>She blocked it all out.</p><p>All she cared about was the woman in front of her. The woman who would always hold her heart. The only one she ever wanted to dance with.</p><p>Raelle stared at her, eyes searching before turning inward to the thoughts in her head and the feelings in her soul Scylla desperately wished she could hear. Could assuage. She used to be able to read Raelle with one glance. Know what she needed with barely a swipe of the hand or peek into her eyes.</p><p>She didn’t know what Raelle was thinking.</p><p>It hurt.</p><p>But it didn't hurt as much as thinking Raelle didn’t feel the same. Didn’t want this anymore. That their small moment was nothing more than chivalry and once lingering affection disguised as something else. A Fixer taking care of someone because she was a good person and cared more than she would ever say. </p><p>Or that Scylla had ruined them beyond repair. Broken herself and the woman she loved so thoroughly there was nothing left, the bitter shattered remains so cracked it was impossible to put them back together.</p><p>As the seconds ticked by, Scylla felt her hope turn to dread.</p><p>This was wrong.</p><p>She was wrong.</p><p>She should have left.</p><p>Taken her one moment and held on to it tightly, letting it be enough to power her through the rest of the War, the rest of her lonely nights and harsh days. Through the loss and pain and anger and grief.</p><p>She should move on.</p><p>The brush of a fingertip along the side of her hand had her eyes snapping down. She watched as deft fingers traced the edge of her palm before carefully taking it, hold gentle yet solid. Hesitant yet true.</p><p>She didn’t know she was holding her breath the entire time until she had to choke back a sob. </p><p>Without a word, she gave the hand a tender squeeze. It was real. So so real.</p><p>Biting her lip and forcing a confidence she didn’t have to reflect on her face, she tugged Raelle to the dance floor. They weaved through the couples before finding a spot near the middle. As she turned to face Raelle, the blonde’s hand reached up, achingly guiding them into position. Scylla’s hand automatically went to her shoulder, hanging on to the stripes as a strong palm cupped her hip, slowly sliding around to rest against her back. Their joined hands lifted, entwined in an unbreakable tangle of fingers and dreams. </p><p>For a moment they stood there, neither moving. </p><p>Scylla felt the timidness, the fear, the uncertainty like a dagger to her heart. Where once they flowed seamlessly together, able to know what the other wanted, felt, without even a word, lives and bodies synced so completely sometimes it felt like they were a single whole instead of a separate two, there was now this. Two broken halves unable to fit back together without a thought, without a word. The jagged edges not lining up like they once did. No slotting together with ease. Unable to trust themselves. Unable to trust their partner.</p><p>Not able to be just Raelle and Scylla. </p><p>Not able to be <em> them </em>.</p><p>But, then the band began a slow heartfelt melody.</p><p>Notes that stirred something inside all who heard it.</p><p>Raelle shifted her feet, taking a small step as her hips swayed.</p><p>Scylla followed.</p><p>Gradually they began to move. Together.</p><p>The music washed over them, a lilting tune that flew them far away from Fort Salem, transported them to a world all their own.</p><p>A world where they were <em> them </em>.</p><p>Raelle pressed closer to Scylla, and the brunette felt everything drop away. The woodsy scent and feel of her body took over every sense she had, and she found herself nuzzling into the side of her neck, finding the spot in her arms that made her feel like, no matter what happened, she was safe. She was home. </p><p>The beat picked up, and the dancers around them skipped and spun gleefully.</p><p>The couple didn’t notice.</p><p>Scylla huddled further into the embrace, the slow sway lulling her into peacefulness. She pressed her lips together hard when a pair of lips ever so lightly slipped against her hair. Her grip on Raelle’s shoulder tightened before creeping over to the back of her neck, fingertips caressing the spot she knew would always calm her lover, letting her know it was ok. They were ok.</p><p>At the touch, Raelle dipped deeper into her, shaky breaths puffing against Scylla’s ear. Their entangled hands slowly slid down, slipping between their bodies and pressing against their beating hearts, the joined rhythm thumping in tune within their chests.</p><p>Scylla felt like she could cry. Like she would never stop smiling. Like she was back on the beach with her parents the last time she ever truly felt safe. Like she was staring into bright troubled blue eyes for the first time, the roar of tornadoes mimicking the pounding of her heart. Like she could run away and Raelle would be at her side. Like there was nothing to run from. </p><p>“I love you.” fell from her lips before she even realized she made a sound.</p><p>A quiet gasp drew against her ear, and her partner stumbled a step. </p><p>Scylla squeezed her eyes shut. </p><p>Her last dance, her last moment, and she ruined it. Took a chance without meaning to and lost her.</p><p>She prepared herself to watch Raelle pull back. Leave her there. Walk away.</p><p>She prepared herself to see Raelle’s back as she gave up on them one final time.</p><p>Strong arms tightened around her.</p><p>Didn’t leave.</p><p>Didn’t pull away.</p><p>Grew stronger.</p><p>Accepting.</p><p>Warm and gentle and real.</p><p>Scylla couldn't hold back the muted sob building in her chest. She buried her face in the blue wool, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood as she fought to regain control. </p><p>It had been so long. A lifetime. Many nights wondering if she had dreamt their time together. Dreamt that someone loved her. That Raelle loved her.</p><p>A sniffle echoed in her ear, and a drop of wetness touched the slope of her cheekbone, dripping down to mingle with her own. </p><p>She grasped onto the nape of Raelle’s neck, needing an anchor in the sea of emotions swirling around her, in her. Her fingers tripped down, tangling in the stiff uniform collar.</p><p>She was being held by, was holding, the girl she loved.</p><p>The girl she couldn’t be with.</p><p>The girl the fates allowed her to fall for only to rip away from her again and again.</p><p>Lips touched her ear, “I never stopped.”</p><p>Scylla’s knees buckled.</p><p>Raelle held her up, pulling her closer, so close Scylla could feel the broken beat of the blonde’s heart in her own chest.</p><p>Pushing back slightly, she lifted her tearful eyes, forcing Raelle to do the same.</p><p>At the sight of weeping blue, Scylla grasped her face, cupping her jaw. </p><p>Bridging the distance between them, she caught trembling lips with her own.</p><p>The universe slowed down to that one moment.</p><p>There was no music. No dance. No soldiers or Spree or prying eyes.</p><p>No war or fighting or different sides.</p><p>There was just the feel of those lips and the knowledge, the belief, the certainty that this was where she was meant to be. Who she was meant to be with.</p><p>That she would do anything to feel this way forever.</p><p>That her entire existence was in this single moment.</p><p>When they slowly broke apart, foreheads touching, Scylla spoke from her heart, “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”</p><p>A voice cleared loudly beside them. </p><p>Unwillingly, the couple turned to look, bodies still pressed together.</p><p>Izadora, stern but an apology in her eye, flicked her head, “Time for your date to head home before it gets too late, Raelle.”</p><p>Raelle grit her teeth and blinked before nodding. She faced Scylla.</p><p>Wordlessly, Scylla drew her into another unwavering kiss that Raelle returned eagerly.</p><p>As they separated, Raelle tugged on Scylla’s wrist, “Scyl,”</p><p>Scylla smiled at her, “I’ll see you soon. I promise.”</p><p>Raelle’s eyebrow ticked up, and Scylla leaned back in for a quick kiss. Her mouth whispered quietly against her lips, “Our tree. Tomorrow. Midnight.”</p><p>With that Scylla forced herself to walk away, Izadora a step behind.</p><p>She would tell Raelle everything tomorrow. </p><p>Everything.</p><p>No more lies.</p><p>No more half truths or hiding.</p><p>If they wanted to use Raelle like they used her, then Raelle was going to be ready for it. She would have a choice.</p><p>Scylla would make sure of it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>She could hear the distant chimes of a clock, signaling the passage of time. </p><p>One.</p><p>Two.</p><p>Three.</p><p>Four.</p><p>It went on, singing twelve sad mournful songs before dying away.</p><p>Midnight.</p><p>And, there was no one in sight.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The moon was high in the midnight sky, a bitter chill biting like razor sharp teeth against Scylla’s exposed face and slicing through her heavy coat like a hot blade through butter. </p><p>Or a Camarilla’s knife through an unsuspecting witch.</p><p>Tiny crystals formed with each breath she took, and her chapped lips trembled, from the cold or deeply suppressed emotions she didn’t know. She shoved her hands deeper into her pockets and huddled near the trunk of the massive oak tree. </p><p>And waited.</p><p>She could hear the distant chimes of a clock, signaling the passage of time. </p><p>One.</p><p>Two.</p><p>Three.</p><p>Four.</p><p>It went on, singing twelve sad mournful songs before dying away.</p><p>Midnight.</p><p>And, there was no one in sight.</p><p>No one except for an exasperated and exhausted patrol, cadets who must have pissed off their drill sergeant a whole hell of a lot to be forced to walk the perimeter in this dreadful winter doldrum. </p><p>She breathed in deeply, imagining ice gripping her lungs and spreading across her chest, tiny tendrils of blue taking over.</p><p>She pursed her lips and hunched her shoulders.</p><p>This was incredibly stupid.</p><p>Sneaking back into Fort Salem? Especially so soon after escaping it with nothing more than a piercing look from Bellweather and a life shattering kiss from her ex-girlfriend. She was tempting the goddess herself by not returning to the safehouse and staying there until the Spree and Army’s plans were finalized and she could walk the streets without worrying about an overeager MP snatching her and returning her to the basement of the Necro building...if she even made it that far. </p><p>She couldn’t stay away, though. Not with so much at stake.</p><p>Not when Raelle’s life, her happiness, hung in the balance.</p><p>And, no matter how Raelle felt about her, whether she hated her or wished to never see her again, Scylla would still do anything to protect her. Because she loved her. </p><p>She still loved her.</p><p>And, damn it, she couldn’t stop the wisp of warmth that slowly rekindled in her soul at the way Raelle looked at her during the dance. The way she held her in her arms as they moved together, lost in the music and the moment. </p><p>The way her lips felt as they kissed one last time, the first in so long that Scylla almost forgot what a simple touch could do to her. What a mere glance could ignite. How her body felt like it was soaring through the air and her mind believed she could be worthy of actual happiness by just a touch of a hand. A grin. </p><p>How blue eyes could stare at her, see past all her defenses and mistakes, and see the broken girl yearning for something real to save her from the all consuming darkness that licked at her bones and wrapped her heart in anger and sadness, in a blanket of grief so impenetrable that Scylla couldn’t see anything, feel anything, else until the blonde turned away from those tornadoes that day and smiled at her. Talked to her. </p><p>Saw her.</p><p>And, goddess, that same feeling was back. </p><p>Scylla shook her head at herself.</p><p>It never left.</p><p>Since the moment Raelle introduced herself and offered to walk her back, Scylla had found a hand to walk her home. To be her home. Scylla never felt safe anywhere. She was always moving with her parents, never staying in one place too long. Never long enough to think of it as more than a pitstop on the way to the next destination. When they died, she was so lost home was not even a concept she could wrap her mind around. How could she have a home when she had no one, nothing? She had the Cause. She had her rage and her intelligence and people who cultivated both. </p><p>She didn’t have arms that would hold her during a storm. Hands that searched for her own. Lips that spoke of devotion. A heart that promised to never leave her. A soul that matched her own.</p><p>Not until Raelle.</p><p>She walked her back and became her home.</p><p>Scylla curled her hands into fists in her pocket.</p><p>She ruined the one good thing she ever touched.</p><p>But, she wasn’t going to let the rest of the world destroy her.</p><p>Not the Army or the Spree or anyone else.</p><p>Raelle had been through so much, and Scylla refused to let the last vestiges of the girl she loved be swept away in the plans of others.</p><p>Taking another breath, Scylla stepped closer to the tree.</p><p>Raelle might be her forever, but that didn’t mean she was Raelle’s.</p><p>The blonde wasn’t there.</p><p>She hadn’t shown up.</p><p>Scylla closed her eyes.</p><p>Raelle didn’t trust her.</p><p>Why should she?</p><p>Still, though, hadn’t she kissed Scylla? Hadn’t she danced with her in front of everyone? Her mind had not played tricks on her. Raelle was there. Strong and solid and so damn gorgeous with her chivalry and crooked smile. </p><p>The seconds ticked by, turning to minutes.</p><p>She wasn’t coming.</p><p>Scylla felt it like a weight in her belly. Heavy and unforgiving. </p><p>Raelle was not coming.</p><p>Cursing herself for putting herself in this position, for letting herself believe, for taking a risk with everything, Scylla leaned away from the tree. She should leave. Check to make sure the patrols were nowhere nearby and make the trek to the nearest bus stop. Call a cab. Hitch a ride.</p><p>Get as far away from this as possible.</p><p>What good would it be to stay?</p><p>Would Raelle even believe her this time? </p><p>Sniffing against the cold, Scylla began to scan the well manicured lawn hidden beneath a blanket of snow when a once familiar tingling tapped against her chest, like playful fingers caressing her heart, beating in time with each breath.</p><p>Her head snapped to the side.</p><p>In the dark she could just make out the silhouette of a figure trudging through the snow, awkwardly making tracks where there had been none before. Blazing a new path toward Scylla with each footfall. </p><p>Scylla felt her breath hitch in her chest.</p><p>Raelle silently grumbled, her southern Cession body still unused to the cold and ice. She stumbled up to the brunette, cheeks red and eyelashes already coated in nature’s sparkles.</p><p>She was beautiful.</p><p>“Goddess, Scyl, it’s cold as hell out here.” Raelle muttered.</p><p>Scylla let the affectionate smirk grace her features, “Next time I’ll book us a room at the cozy little bed and breakfast in town. Nice fireplace. Big bed.” For a brief moment, it was like when they were together, Scylla matching wits with the younger witch and being utterly charmed before being gifted with a kiss.</p><p>Raelle shot her a withering look.</p><p>There was no kiss. No hug. No subtle touches and syrupy sweet words.</p><p>Not anymore.</p><p>Burst of fond confidence melting away, the corners of Scylla’s mouth dropped. She swallowed thickly, “I wasn’t sure you were coming.”</p><p>“Neither was I.” Raelle admitted. </p><p>That hurt.</p><p>Scylla nodded softly, accepting the words for the truth they were. The truth she deserved.</p><p>“What am I doing here, Scyl?”</p><p>She ignored how hearing the way Raelle unknowingly shortened her name just like she used to when they were together and she would whisper it in her ear early in the morning or laugh when they would stroll around the base, made her stomach clench and arms ache with the need to wrap around her. “There are things happening. Things you need to know about.”</p><p>“About the Spree.”</p><p>Scylla nodded, “And the Army. Yes.”</p><p>Raelle exhaled loudly, “Why?”</p><p>Why her? Why now? Why tell her?</p><p>Why should she listen?</p><p>“You’re important, Raelle. More than you’ve ever given yourself credit for. I’m not going to let them use you.”</p><p>“Like they used you?”</p><p>Scylla blinked, back straightening, “Yes.”</p><p>Raelle eyed her.</p><p>Scylla let her, remaining quiet. Letting her think. </p><p>Biting her lip, Raelle closed the distance between them. </p><p>Scylla held her breath, the world shrinking down to the curve of her old lover’s face and the length of her body. Her eyelashes fluttered, “Rae?” she whispered.</p><p>Raelle hesitated a hare's breath away, “You lied to me.”</p><p>Scylla gingerly nodded, mouth quivering. She had so much to say, so much she wanted to say - I love you; I never lied about my feelings; I chose you; I will keep choosing you.</p><p>She didn’t.</p><p>Raelle’s eyes drifted down, chin dipping as her blue orbs refused to meet Scylla’s.  “The first time I see you, and you’re sneaking in to have secret meetings with Anacostia and...I don’t even know what else.”</p><p>Scylla bit her tongue so hard she tasted the faint tinge of copper.</p><p>“You went back to the Spree.”</p><p>Her body was rigid, every muscle straining to reach out, to hold back.</p><p>“I loved you, and I don’t even know who you are.”</p><p>“You know me.” she couldn’t stop the words from spilling out, “You know me better than anyone, Raelle. I never lied about that. I never lied about us. About how I felt about you. How much you meant to me. You still mean to me.”</p><p>Raelle sniffed, “The first time I saw you since...and I wasn’t even supposed to, was I? You would have never told me you were there.”</p><p>“No.” No, she wasn’t meant to know.</p><p>But, goddess, if Scylla wasn’t happy she did.</p><p>And, it wasn't because she didn’t care about Raelle. Didn’t want to see her. Talk to her. Hold her.</p><p>It was the exact opposite.</p><p>Raelle’s head bobbed, and she scoffed incredulously.</p><p>“Raelle,”</p><p>“I’m tired.” Raelle’s head lifted, a sheen of water turning her blue eyes hazy, “I’m tired, and I’m cold, and I haven’t even been to this tree since before graduation because it’s <em> our </em> tree.”</p><p>Scylla gasped at the vulnerability shining through.</p><p>“You hurt me. So much.” her words were shaky, coated in unshed tears, “But, I see you, and I don’t care. I don’t care that you can break me. That you have, and I’ve never been able to put myself back together. I think about you, and I can’t breathe. It hurts so much. And, I finally see you, and you act like nothing is different.”</p><p>Grief and agony coiled low in Scylla’s belly, tightening like a snake, slithering into every crevice of her being and forcing her throat to close with painful sadness. “That’s not true. Not at all. Raelle...everything is different. Everything.” Her breath shuddered, “If...If you’d let me…”</p><p>Raelle huffed, “I should hate you.”</p><p>Scylla’s legs nearly collapsed, mouth snapping shut.</p><p>She knew it was possible. Likely. She sometimes even expected it. </p><p>But hearing it?</p><p>Her mind went numb, body unable to feel the winter air turning her ears red and burning whatever it touched.</p><p>Raelle’s face broke, “But, I’m standing here under this stupid tree, and I can’t feel my face, and it’s so damn cold...and all I want to do is dance with you again.”</p><p>Scylla swayed, the words all but knocking her over.</p><p>What had she said?</p><p>An eager hopefulness bloomed wordlessly in her stomach, overtaking the snake and banishing it with a scourge of dreams and wishes.</p><p>Raelle shook her head and wiped roughly at her cheeks with the back of her palm, “What do you want from me, Scylla? Because I try not to care, and I can’t. I just can’t. I see you, and I break the rules without caring that you might hurt me again. I…”</p><p>“Raelle,” Scylla pulled her hands free of their cocoons, reaching for her.</p><p>“Everything is telling me this is wrong.” A shrug, “But, I don’t care. Because, it’s <em> you </em>.”</p><p>Scylla gently wrapped her hands around Raelle’s arms, letting her palms slide down the rough fabric of her jacket to hold her wrists, “I know I hurt you. I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. But, Raelle, I never wanted to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. Please, give me a chance to show you.” </p><p>“I tried. I tried. <em>You burned me, Scyl</em>. I promised I would never hurt you, to be there and not be like everyone else who burned you, and you were the one who...” her words trailed off as she clenched her jaw.</p><p>“I know.” Scylla’s eyes stung with the cold and sadness.</p><p>“Why should I trust you now?”</p><p>“Because I can’t lose you again.” Scylla wept silently, “I choose you, Raelle. Always. I will keep choosing you until you believe me. I’ll keep choosing you even after.” She dove in, “I love you.”</p><p>Sniffling, Raelle fought to regain her composure, “What do you want to tell me? Why do you even want to tell me anything?”</p><p>“Because I love you.” Scylla replied, “I want to protect you.” </p><p>“It’s not your job to protect me.” Not anymore.</p><p>“I’m always going to protect you.” The words curled up from her chest, “Just like you still protect me”</p><p>
  <em> Before a sound could come out, a warm hand, a hand she would have recognized in an instant if she allowed herself to, lightly touched the spot right between her shoulder blades, slipping down the length of her spine to rest tenderly yet possessively against the small of her back, “Her name is Collar, and she wants to know why you’re making her girlfriend stand outside in the cold.” </em>
</p><p>The memories burrowed in her mind.</p><p>
  <em> Chin quivering slightly, Scylla cleared her throat, “What are you doing?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sneaking a Spree agent into the army’s military ball. What’s it look like I’m doing?” </em>
</p><p>“I am always going to protect you, Raelle. I’m always going to take care of you. Because, I love you. I. Love. You.”</p><p>The blonde stared at her, tiny tremors revealing the secret emotions ravaging inside her soul. Scylla didn’t shy away, didn’t hide or put on a mask. She allowed herself to be seen. Eyes fraught with love and guilt and an aching need that made the blues turn to embers in the night. Wordlessly, she offered every part of herself. Held nothing back. The good. The bad. The ugly and beautiful. The full truth of who she was. Who she had been. Who she wanted to be. </p><p>With an imperceptible nod, Raelle leaned into her, and Scylla almost cried at the feeling of her body fitting so perfectly against her own. At the acceptance. </p><p>“Tell me.”</p><p>Scylla’s breath stuttered.</p><p>
  <em> Tell me </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Let them train you, make you powerful </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The way over, is under </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Ok </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The way out… </em>
</p><p>“You’re the bargaining chip.” Scylla spoke quietly into her ear. “The Spree want concessions. They also want you. You would report to the Spree.”</p><p>She would report to Willa.</p><p>She would remain a soldier, but be a part of the Spree - until Willa felt she could bring her daughter home, to her side, mentally as well as physically.</p><p>And Alder was only willing to contemplate this if she retained the ability to use the witchbomb when she saw fit.</p><p>That she, too, could use Raelle. Could have her best most powerful weapon on call, ready to be unleashed at her command. At her sole discretion. Hold the key to military power in the palm of her hand.</p><p>Both sides could use Raelle when it suited their own needs, and Raelle would be caught in the middle, answering to two different leaders, two different organizations. </p><p>Two different users.</p><p>Two different futures.</p><p>Two different paths.</p><p>Raelle stiffened against her, and Scylla squeezed her wrists before letting go, wrapping her arms around her and rubbing her back comfortingly, “Anacostia will volunteer to be with you. You’d be separated from Tally and Abigail, but you would have her.” She tightened her hold, “You would have me.”</p><p>Scylla would make sure of it.</p><p>She would be by Raelle’s side, no matter what.</p><p>They stood there. It could have been milliseconds. It could have been hours.</p><p>Scylla didn’t care. All she worried about, all she focused on, was the woman in her arms.</p><p>Raelle sniffled, “Of course. Why would I think I could just go to War College. Go to class. <em> Try </em>.”</p><p>Scylla cupped the back of her neck, lightly massaging the tense muscles, “We can figure this out.”</p><p>“Figure what out? I should still be in the desert. I never should have…”</p><p>“Don’t.” Scylla harshly cut her off, “Do not say that. You’re alive, Raelle. You might not be happy right now, and I understand. I do. But, do not <em> ever </em> think you should be dead. That you shouldn’t be here.” She curled her hands around her face, holding her still, forcing their eyes to meet, “You, Raelle Collar, are important. You are powerful. Your friends love you. I love you. You are more than some Cession combat medic destined to die young and forgotten. You are alive. You deserve to be alive and happy.”</p><p>And damn the rest of the world, Scylla would move heaven and earth to make it true.</p><p>Raelle’s eyes swept back and forth, “And you?”</p><p>Scylla frowned.</p><p>“Was last night the last dance I’ll ever have with you?”</p><p>“Do you want it to be?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Then, it won’t be.”</p><p>“You say all of this like it matters. Like it matters what...any of us wants.” It never mattered what Raelle wanted. What Scylla wanted. They were pawns in another’s game. Foot soldiers with no say. Expected to follow orders or be replaced.</p><p>“It does. It matters.” Scylla said firmly.</p><p>“Because, you love me?” A huff of disbelief, “That’s…”</p><p>“Everything.” Scylla filled in her for. “It means everything.” She opened herself up fully to the other witch, “I used to think it didn’t. That love didn’t matter. It does. You matter. It’s scary how much it matters. It does, though. This time, it’s enough. If you let it be.”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>Scylla unconsciously counted her heartbeats, wondering if she said too much, if she finally showed all her cards, and it was too late. </p><p>She missed her chance.</p><p>She hurt Raelle too much.</p><p>That Raelle wouldn’t think it was enough. <em> They </em>weren’t enough. She wasn’t enough. </p><p>“Next year’s ball. Be my date?”</p><p>Next year.</p><p>Scylla felt a tear break away and roll down her cheek. “Of course,” she choked out. “Always.”</p><p>Raelle nodded, “Ok,” She grabbed her hands and lowered them, taking one in her own and tugging her away from the tree.</p><p>“Where are we going?” Scylla followed her into the snow.</p><p>“Officer’s quarters. It’s cold, and I need you and Anacostia to tell me everything.”</p><p>“I don’t think Anacostia is going to enjoy a midnight visit.”</p><p>“She should have thought of that before roping my girlfriend into some crazy Accord.”</p><p>Scylla tripped and Raelle spun around, feeling the faltering footing. She caught her, holding her up, “You ok?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Scylla smiled. <em> Girlfriend </em>. </p><p>Whether she meant it or it was a mistake, a slip of the tongue, it still felt perfect.</p><p>She would hold on to it.</p><p>As if sensing her thoughts, her doubts, Raelle dipped in and pressed cold lips to her cheek. Pulling back, she ducked Scylla’s bright gaze and began to walk again. “Let’s go.”</p><p>“You know,” the snow crunched under her boots, “there are much better ways to warm up than stopping in the officers’ quarters. Ways I don’t think your former drill sergeant wants to see.”</p><p>“Should have thought about that before you told me we were about to become part of some big secret alliance.”</p><p>“Didn’t know it was an option.”</p><p>Raelle glanced over at her, “Always, Scyl.”</p><p>Scylla was as warm as if she was sitting in front of the fireplace with a mug of cocoa and swaddled in thick quilts and strong arms.</p><p>They took a few more steps.</p><p>“Can still get that room at the bed and breakfast. I hear the waffles are amazing.” Scylla smiled. </p><p>“More of a hoecake girl, myself.”</p><p>“At least don’t make me wait till next year. Using a military ball to seduce me is a bit beneath you.”</p><p>“You would know what it’s like to be beneath me, wouldn’t you?”</p><p>Scylla’s bark of unexpected laughter echoed in the night air. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Mmm, Scyl?” Raelle mumbled, not fully awake. Her hand found the one against her belly and curved around it.</p><p>“Hi.” Scylla whispered, slowly blinking her eyes open. She couldn’t help but glance down, smiling inside at the mess of blonde hair and loose braids adorning her chest.</p><p>This was better than the dream.</p><p>This was real.</p><p>Raelle was always so adorable when she first woke up. An affectionate lazy cub with wandering lips and a need to cuddle.</p><p>Scylla missed those types of mornings.</p><p>She missed any morning with Raelle.</p><p>“Good morning,” Anacostia’s voice seemed to boom like a tornado, wiping out anything peaceful in sight, “I’d question how you were able to sleep well past morning, but considering how many times Collar missed third bell and inspection during basic, I believe the answer is staring me in the face.”</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A quiet murmuring tickled Scylla’s senses, mumbled splices of sounds teasing the edges of her consciousness like the tip of a feather, causing her to wrinkle her nose and squeeze her eyes shut tighter as she attempted to ward off the unwanted interloping into her dreams. She refused to leave the cozy patch of grass she’d found herself on, spread out on an intricately woven quilt, bottle of wine and platter of fruit at hand as a beautiful blonde curled into her side, pressing tender kisses to her neck while Scylla gazed up at the cloud passing overhead in the brilliant blue sky, her mind somehow registering that it was a funny shape, and she wanted to point it out to her girlfriend.</p><p>The murmuring grew louder, and she could no longer ignore it, the image in her mind dissolving like sand washing away with the tide or an eraser methodically wiping away the mistakes of an artist as she was plucked back into reality.</p><p>A reality where her back ached and her neck was stiff with a spasming kink in it.</p><p>She wet her winter chapped lips, eyes still closed as she slowly regained awareness. She was sitting up, back against what felt like a wall, one leg kicked out while the other was bent at the knee. She wiggled her sock covered toes, her feet free from the confines of her heavy boots. A warm body was nestled against her chest, slow short breaths puffing against the base of her throat, a head cuddled in the crook of her neck. Her own arm was wrapped lethargically around a slim waist, fingers splayed under a shirt to rest against defined abs that moved gently with each inhale and exhale.</p><p>A thin sheet had been draped over them, slightly tucked in around their snuggled figures.</p><p>She fought to remember where she was. What was happening. Why she was seemingly sleeping on the floor with who she hoped...who she knew...was Raelle held in her arms.</p><p>Raelle, who must have also heard the voices because she began to stir, grumbled low in her throat as she rolled her shoulder. Her lips brushed against Scylla’s neck, and the brunette inhaled sharply, barely holding in the shudder at the accidental touch. </p><p>“Mmm, Scyl?” Raelle mumbled, not fully awake. Her hand found the one against her belly and curved around it.</p><p>“Hi.” Scylla whispered, slowly blinking her eyes open. She couldn’t help but glance down, smiling inside at the mess of blonde hair and loose braids adorning her chest.</p><p>This was better than the dream.</p><p>This was real.</p><p>Raelle was always so adorable when she first woke up. An affectionate lazy cub with wandering lips and a need to cuddle.</p><p>Scylla missed those types of mornings.</p><p>She missed any morning with Raelle.</p><p>“Good morning,” Anacostia’s voice seemed to boom like a tornado, wiping out anything peaceful in sight, “I’d question how you were able to sleep well past morning, but considering how many times Collar missed third bell and inspection during basic, I believe the answer is staring me in the face.”</p><p>Scylla felt Raelle stiffen in her arms, and her own spine straightened painfully. The brunette raised her eyes to see Anacostia Quartermaine standing on the other side of the spartan room, hip almost leaning against the well ordered desk. Beside her stood Izadora, face blank but an amused glint in her eye.</p><p>“Anacostia?” Raelle muttered, letting go of Scylla’s hand to wipe at her face.</p><p>“Don’t sound so surprised, Cpl. Collar. You were the one who knocked on my door at one in the morning.” She shot them both an unimpressed look, arms folded across her chest, “Imagine my surprise to open my door to someone who should not even be at Fort Salem and someone else who should not be with the other person, let alone roaming the grounds late at night, unless she wants even more demerits added to her incredibly long list of reasons why she should be demoted back to Private and kicked out of War College.”</p><p>“Bright and chipper as always, Anacostia.” Scylla grimaced as she stretched out her bent leg, the knee popping uncomfortably.</p><p>“Reckless and begging to be caught, as always, Ramshorn.” Anacostia frowned at her.</p><p>Scylla arched her back, trying to realign her spine that felt like it’d been pushed and pulled every which way. Raelle pulled away, rubbing at her eyes as she clambered to her feet, the pure white sheet, starched and slightly scratchy, falling to the floor. Scylla bit back the automatic groan at the loss of the body against her own, the want to keep her close, keep their little cocoon intact.</p><p>The blonde rolled her neck, stretching out her arms before offering a hand to Scylla. The older girl shot her a small smile, clasping their palms together. With a quick tug, she was on her feet. Her thumb idly rubbed at the patch of skin just behind Raelle’s, and her eyes scanned the sleepy blue orbs before her.</p><p>Were they ok?</p><p>Had last night actually happened?</p><p>What were they?</p><p>Was this something she could do?</p><p>Had it been a dream?</p><p>Was her hope real?</p><p>Was Raelle hers again?</p><p>Sensing the unspoken questions in the simple touch and searching gaze, Raelle tightened her grip and slid forward.</p><p>Their mouths met in a brief kiss, a good morning peck that was so much more than a waking greeting.</p><p>“Hi.” Raelle grinned gently, a tiny quirk of the lips.</p><p>“Hi.” Scylla leaned back in, unable to stop herself from stealing another taste.</p><p>Anacostia cleared her voice, “Glad to see you two have decided to work things out. Perhaps now is not the best time to make sure your marks are shiny again.”</p><p>Raelle rolled her eyes as Scylla shot the officer a smirk, “They’re shiny, Sergeant. No worries there.”</p><p>“Lovely.” Anacostia lifted her chin, “Now, would you like to explain how you plan to leave my quarters and get off base without anyone seeing you?”</p><p>A bell rang in the distance, and Raelle blinked in confusion, her still slightly sleep dazed brain trying to register what the sound was. Then, her eyes widened. “Shit. I have class.” She whipped her head around, “What time is it?”</p><p>“You have already missed your early morning training session and first class of the day.” Anacostia spoke.</p><p>Raelle’s eyes widened even more as she mouthed a choice curse word.</p><p>“Sgt. L’Amara has informed your commanding officer you are assisting her with a last minute assignment today, and you are not expected to attend class.”</p><p>Izadora shot the couple a wink, “Very important work. Top secret.”</p><p>Raelle’s shoulders slumped with relief.</p><p>“Now that Collar’s reckless abandonment of logic is solved,” Anacostia looked at Scylla, “What about you, Ramshorn?”</p><p>“I can figure it out.” Scylla raised a saucy eyebrow, “Strangely, your defenses are not as impenetrable as some like to think they are.”</p><p>“Then, you can see yourself out.” Anacostia nodded at the door.</p><p>“Wait,” Raelle’s hand jumped out, snagging Scylla’s. </p><p>Scylla looked at her, allowing herself a small moment of outright pleasure at the feel of the familiar palm pressed against her own before she furrowed her brows in curiosity.</p><p>“We came here last night for answers.” Raelle stared at Anacostia, jaw firm.</p><p>“You came here last night and all but passed out on my floor.” </p><p>Raelle puffed out her chest, shoulders pulled back, mouth in a thin line, “Alder made a deal with the Spree. I’m a part of it.”</p><p>Anacostia didn’t react.</p><p>Which meant it was true.</p><p>Raelle’s lashes fluttered as she took this in, and Scylla squeezed her hand, silently offering her support. “It <em> is </em> true.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t worry about…”</p><p>“How?” Raelle cut Anacostia off, “How is this going to work? Am I dropping out of War College? Being reassigned to combat duty again?”</p><p>“This is none of your concern, Corporal.”</p><p>“Tally and Abigail will ask questions.” Raelle continued, ignoring the warning in Anacostia’s words, “Others...Glory, Byron. Hell, even some of my classmates I don’t talk to will notice I’m not there anymore.”</p><p>“It will all be worked out if and when the Accord is fully agreed upon. Until then, you are to continue on with your duties as you have been.”</p><p>“What about Scylla?” Raelle held her hand closer, their forearms touching, intertwining, “How can we be sure she’s safe? That Alder or someone won’t pick her up one day and…”</p><p>“Collar!” Anacostia’s stern tone had the young witch reluctantly shutting her mouth, “I understand you have concerns. I need you to trust me.” She glanced at Scylla, “Both of you.”</p><p>Scylla heard the nonverbal message sent her way. She wasn’t supposed to tell Raelle about this. Raelle was supposed to be kept in the dark until everything was finalized and Anacostia had gotten the blonde reassigned and on the road. </p><p>Scylla trusted Anacostia, but to hell with not letting Raelle know what was happening until there was no turning back.</p><p>Raelle had a right to decide her own fate. Her own future.</p><p>“Anything I know, Raelle deserves to know.” Scylla piped up. “Raelle deserves to know everything. It’s her life that’s being played with.”</p><p>Anacostia frowned.</p><p>Scylla leaned into the girl at her side, taking a half step so she was almost blocking Raelle from the officers with her body, “The last time Alder made decisions about Raelle without telling her, she ended up bleeding out in a desert.” </p><p>She paused, her throat knotting up as a searing flame gouged her chest at the memory of her lover dying, being left by Alder and the rest of the Army to take her last breath hurt and scared in the middle of a battlefield she never should have been at in the first place.</p><p>Pushing down the boulder sized lump in her throat, Scylla ground out, “If Raelle is going to be in danger, she deserves to know about it. Not have people who think they know better because they have more stripes on their shoulders and shiny medals pinned to their chest make all the decisions in back rooms and out of sight.”</p><p>The room grew quiet.</p><p>Scylla clung to Raelle’s hand, not backing down. </p><p>She was not going to lose Raelle.</p><p>Not when she just got her back.</p><p>Not when she was warm and alive, smiling and there and a year away from another dance in fancy clothing under a midnight sky.</p><p>Anacostia peeked at Izadora before dipping her head in acquiescence, “You’re right.”</p><p>Scylla blinked.</p><p>That was easier than she expected.</p><p>Then again, Anacostia did surprise her every now and then.</p><p>“We need to trust each other for this to work.” Anacostia exhaled. “I have always told my cadets to trust their Unit. Their Unit will get them through anything. For better or worse, we will be a Unit now. I am going to be your commander, Collar, and we both know Ramshorn goes where you go, no matter what any of the rest of us try to do.” She almost smiled at them, “I see no reason why the Spree won’t accept the deal. They are getting everything they wanted at the start, and they will do their best to leverage this to gain the other outcomes they wish to see fulfilled. General Alder is running out of options, and this allows the Army to continue the fight while gaining resources that we desperately need but can easily part with in the future.”</p><p>The message was clear.</p><p>“Once the Camarilla are defeated, Alder is going to turn on the Spree.” Scylla deduced.</p><p>“You don’t think the Spree will turn on the Army?” Anacostia shot back.</p><p>They both would.</p><p>They would be allies, not friends.</p><p>The enemy of my enemy is my friend only worked so long as they had a common enemy to fight.</p><p>Witches could not, would not, fight to conquer their hunters only to turn around and return to the bondage of servitude and death that hung over each of their heads. Fight to live only to give up that life once again. They were fighting for their lives in either war. It was only the army who didn’t see that. Alder who didn’t see that.</p><p>“Collar is the link between the two. We know that. As long as both sides want her and are willing to fight a common enemy, we can keep the Accord in line. Once we lose the common enemy, Collar becomes even more of a bargaining chip.”</p><p>“Alder and the Spree will fight for her.” Scylla finished for her. She felt Raelle flinch, and she automatically rubbed the pad of her thumb across the back of her knuckles. She turned away from Anacostia, peering over to see Raelle staring straight ahead, lips pressed together firmly, pale pink turning translucent white, her eyes unseeing as they glared at a spot on the wall. Her hand, pale from lack of summer sunshine, rubbed unconsciously against her chest, bunching up the material of her shirt right above her heart.</p><p>Above the small discolored scar.</p><p>Scylla could feel the tension rolling off her. The anger. The sadness. The confusion.</p><p>The pain.</p><p>Pain and fear and melancholy so silently loud each emotion was like a windstrike to Scylla’s own heart.</p><p>She tipped to the side, kissing Raelle’s cheek. Her mouth slid over, kissing her temple before landing on her ear, “I love you.”</p><p>Raelle breathed in deeply, a twitch of the corner of her mouth the only indication she heard her.</p><p>Scylla wanted to comfort her. Draw her out of the darkness she could see clouding her mind. Kiss her until she came back from wherever her thoughts dragged her to, touching her until her shoulders relaxed and her eyes held a spark of life in them. The spark of fury and beauty that filled Scylla’s soul with joy every time she saw it. </p><p>Before she could completely ignore everyone else in the room, the entire room itself, and work to get Raelle to focus on her and not the emotions roiling inside, Raelle’s eyes snapped to Anacostia, “I want full assurance that nothing happens to Scylla.”</p><p>Anacostia didn’t react.</p><p>It was as if she expected this.</p><p>“You know I can’t do that.”</p><p>“Yes, you can.” Raelle grit out, “Or Alder can. If the Army wants me to participate, to not run off and become a dodger or join the Spree or just refuse orders and keep going to class until they throw me in whatever dungeon they have available that day, Scylla is protected.”</p><p>“General Alder will not give the Spree pardons.”</p><p>“I don’t care about the Spree. I care about Scylla.”</p><p>“Raelle,” Scylla spoke up.</p><p>“Scylla gets protection, or everyone can go to hell.” Raelle spoke with such authority, no one in the room could refute her resoluteness.</p><p>“I’ll let the General know.” Anacostia nodded.</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>Anacostia softened slightly, “I will do everything I can to protect both of you. No matter the answer or the outcome.”</p><p>Raelle bit her lip and Scylla felt something like affection bloom in her chest, “We know.”</p><p>“Good.” Anacostia uncrossed her arms and looked at her watch, “Collar, I believe you and Sgt. L’Amara have an assignment to attend to.”</p><p>“Yes,” Izadora nodded, “sample collecting followed by a lecture and demonstration on linking with the <em> nearly </em> dead.”</p><p>“You’re going to cut my throat, aren’t you?” Raelle blinked at her.</p><p>Izadora smirked. “Don’t explode on us.”</p><p>“Shit.”</p><p>“Ramshorn,” Anacostia flipped her attention to the other youth, “I believe there is an empty mess hall with leftovers from this morning’s breakfast that you may wish to visit on your way off of my base.”</p><p>Scylla gave a jaunty salute, “Yes, ma’am.”</p><p>“Good, now get out of my room.” </p><p>The couple turned to each other. Scylla let her eyes roam Raelle’s face, memorizing every line, every curve, every dip and crevice, “I’ll see you soon. I promise.”</p><p>“Holding you to that, Ramshorn.” Raelle smiled sadly, “Bad form to kiss and run.”</p><p>“Almost as bad as leaving your date alone at a dance.” Scylla’s smirk trembled.</p><p>“Wouldn’t recommend it.”</p><p>Scylla pulled her close, the hand not holding her girlfriend’s, were they officially girlfriends now, smoothing up her shirt to curve around the side of her neck, absentmindedly fiddling with the chain of her medal, “Waffles and a cozy bed are just a bus ride away.”</p><p>They could leave.</p><p>Say to hell with the Accord and the Army and the Spree and go where Raelle wasn’t put in the middle of a struggle between two sides of a never-ending war.</p><p>“Book us for the night of next year’s ball.” Raelle let her free hand rest on Scylla’s hip. “We can talk over coffee. And make it hoecakes.”</p><p>“By the fireplace?”</p><p>“Room service and lots of blankets.”</p><p>“I’ll let them know.”</p><p>“Good.” Raelle swallowed roughly. Her fingers dug into Scylla’s hip, “We have a lot to talk about.”</p><p>“I want to talk about everything with you.” No more lies and secrets. No more half truths and unanswered questions. Scylla was ready to give everything to this relationship. </p><p>Good and bad.</p><p>“Ok,” Raelle sighed. Taking another breath, she closed the gap and kissed her, eyes closing as the familiar shock of calm desire buzzed in her veins. </p><p>Scylla’s hand caressed the side of her throat, lips melding as she let herself drift off for a moment, aware only of the way her heart skipped a beat and the fuzzy coziness that enveloped her mind. </p><p>Anacostia’s clearing throat broke up the moment.</p><p>Raelle pushed against her more firmly, flicking her tongue along the seam of Scylla’s lips before breaking away fulling. She stared at Scylla, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes, “You ok?”</p><p>“I’m not afraid, if that’s what you’re asking.” she smirked at the familiar banter.</p><p>Raelle nodded, “I’ll see you soon. Don’t get caught.”</p><p>“Only if you’re doing the catching.” Scylla released her hand.</p><p>Raelle ducked her head, grabbing her boots that were haphazardly laying near their sleeping spot and plucking up her uniform jacket and winter coat.</p><p>Scylla watched her awkwardly hop into her boots as she followed Izadora, the officer politely taking the winter coat from her as Raelle struggled with her jacket.</p><p>Scylla tamped down the urge to follow her. Stay by her side forever.</p><p>As the door closed behind them, Scylla turned to Anacostia, “She comes first. Alder won’t do anything for me.”</p><p>“No, she won’t.” Anacostia agreed, “Doesn’t mean I’m letting anything happen to you. I worked too hard to keep you alive this long, since you seem to have a need to get yourself into trouble every other day, and Collar would sooner turn herself into another bomb than let anything happen to you.”</p><p>Raelle would.</p><p>“Listen,” Anacostia moved toward her. She scooped up Scylla’s boots and held them out, continuing as Scylla slipped on her shoes, “No one knows how this will fully work. The Spree and Army have not worked together before, and the Army has never made a deal like this. Both sides are cautious and have their own agendas.”</p><p>“What’s your agenda?”</p><p>“Keeping my people safe.” Anacostia answered immediately, “That includes you and Collar.”</p><p>Scylla paused in tying her laces, “I love her.”</p><p>It was terrifying to admit.</p><p>It felt extraordinary to say.</p><p>“I know.” Anacostia sounded exasperated, “I figured that out when you refused to leave her alone no matter how many times I told you to.”</p><p>“Could have been because she was a mark.”</p><p>Anacostia shot her a look, “That girl was never a mark to you.”</p><p>That was absolutely true, no matter what Scylla tried to tell herself in the beginning.</p><p>“Go get some food and get the hell out of here before someone sees you.” She pulled a lighter out of her pocket and flipped it to Scylla, who caught it with ease, “Graves is stuck re-cataloguing samples in the Necro Building before co-leading a very long training session at the farthest obstacle course on property.”</p><p>Scylla flicked the flame to life, “Understood.”</p><p>“Next time, don’t hunt down your girlfriend in the middle of a very large gathering of soldiers who would like nothing more than to arrest you while we are trying to negotiate an Accord.”</p><p>“You’ll be there to cover for me.” Scylla moved the flame toward her face. She paused as a thought struck her, “Raelle needs to know she’ll be working with Willa. How did she take the news about her?”</p><p>She hadn’t asked Raelle how she felt about that, yet, too busy with Accords and trying to make the other woman believe she was in love with her while trying to not get caught.</p><p>Goddess, Raelle had to have been shattered when she found out. Learning the mother she admired, missed, felt so much grief and agony over, was actually alive. Alive and Spree.</p><p>And, Scylla wasn’t there. </p><p>
  <em>Scylla wasn’t there.</em>
</p><p>Anacostia’s face turned severe. It said everything.</p><p>Scylla fumbled with the lighter, “She doesn’t know?”</p><p>“I haven’t told her.”</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>Goddess, no.</p><p>This would wreck Raelle.</p><p>How could she not know?</p><p>As if reading her thoughts, Anacostia said, “Collar has had no interaction with the Spree outside of you. She has had no reason to know who the leadership of a terrorist organization is. None of the cadets or War College students have.”</p><p>None of her friends knew either.</p><p>Another lie Scylla knew. Another lie to toss on the mountain of secrets and lies that built Raelle's existence.</p><p>“She needs to know.”</p><p>“She will.” Anacostia agreed, “When it’s the right time.”</p><p>“When is that?”</p><p>“Before she comes face to face with the woman we will be reporting to.”</p><p>A sense of ice cold dread formed at the base of Scylla’s spine, glacial tendrils climbing up one vertebrae at a time</p><p>She promised no more lies.</p><p>And, she already had one between them.</p><p>One that could destroy Raelle.</p><p>She just got Raelle back, they just started down a path toward something Scylla dreamt about since the moment she allowed herself to approach the brash headstrong broken cadet near the training fields.</p><p>And, now, she had to break her heart.</p><p>Would Raelle have agreed to this if she knew Willa was alive?</p><p>Would she have believed that Scylla never knew when they were together?</p><p>Would she believe her now?</p><p>“Eat. Rest up. We have work to do, Ramshorn, and I need you at the top of your game.” Anacostia ordered.</p><p>Mentally pushing away the fear balled up in her shoulders, Scylla flicked the lighter on.</p><p>A few minutes later, Helen Graves was seen waltzing out of Sgt. Quartermaine’s quarters.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As they walked along, Scylla wet her dry lips, “I’m going to tell her.”</p><p>“The very fact you’re here less than a day after I told you she didn’t know alerted me to that fact."</p><p>“She deserves to know. She needs to know.”</p><p>Raelle had to know who was pulling the strings for the Spree.</p><p>That her mother was alive and leading the faction of freedom fighters, or terrorists depending on who you asked, that she would be assigned to. Who Scylla was working with.</p><p>She deserved to know her mom was alive.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Scylla played with the lighter in her hand, flicking the cover open and closed as she watched the rows of cadets jog by, feet in time and bodies in line with each other. She could almost feel the ground shake in a weird rhythm as the boots slammed into the frozen pavement, toes pushing off before heels once again connected. </p><p>Left.</p><p>Right.</p><p>Left. </p><p>Right.</p><p>The perfect picture of military precision. Finely honed skills and robotic machinelike cadence that only Alder’s authoritative iron fist could deliver. Young witches marching closer and closer to their deaths. Deaths that never should occur because the invisible manacles clad to their wrists and ankles never should have been there in the first place.</p><p>Especially when they were protecting people who hated them.</p><p>While fighting an ancient enemy that despised them so much they wished to obliterate every single speck of witchery on the planet. Make them all disappear from existence, as if witches had never been born.</p><p>Yet, here they were, training to fight a war with one hand tied behind their backs.</p><p>Here Scylla was, wondering how long till it all fell apart.</p><p>Until her soldier fell apart.</p><p>She flipped the lighter to her other hand, thumbing the lid. </p><p>Raelle was going to be used by Alder and the Spree like she was nothing. Some toy to be played with until both sides were done and then tossed aside. Garbage. Trash. Not a living breathing human being. Not a charming powerful witch. Not a gentle affectionate lover or a caring thoughtful healer.</p><p>They didn’t seem to care at all.</p><p>“I thought when we said you were leaving base, that meant for longer than 24 hours.”</p><p>Scylla smirked to herself, lighting the tiny flame before extinguishing it, “I worried you’d miss me too much if I was gone longer than a day.”</p><p>Anacostia sidled up beside her, glancing up at the tall branches of the giant oak tree overhead, long sunken branches laden with snow and ice hiding them from view. “Your worries, as always, are completely unfounded, Ramshorn.”</p><p>“And, yet, I worry nevertheless.”</p><p>“She’s in class.”</p><p>“I know.” </p><p>“Were you planning on waiting for her outside in the freezing cold all day? Or merely until you got frostbite?”</p><p>“Thought I might go ice skating on the pond over there and try my hand at ice fishing, but I couldn’t find a good pair of skates, and I heard the fishing is actually quite terrible around here. Need to go farther north.” Her smirk grew, “Though, if I do catch a cold, I know a fixer who can warm me up.”</p><p>“Is that before or after I explain to Collar that I cannot protect you from your own stupidity every minute of every day?”</p><p>“I’m crushed that you think so low of your abilities.” She hummed to herself, “I wonder if Raelle’s ever gone ice skating.”</p><p>“You two are not going ice skating.”</p><p>“You’re right. She’s a southern gal. Hot chocolate and a warm fire would be better.”</p><p>Preferably in a cozy little room all to themselves with a comfortable bed and no distractions.</p><p>Anacostia sighed, “Come with me.”</p><p>“Where are you taking me? The necro building?I haven’t had a chance to be tied down to a chair for weeks on end in a while. My skin’s a bit delicate now. Might need to lotion up.”</p><p>Anacostia rolled her eyes in exasperation, “You may wait in my quarters. Less chance of someone seeing you as you strive to die from exposure.”</p><p>“Or Alder getting pissed she has to see someone who doesn’t cower before her mighty prowess.”</p><p>Anacostia didn’t respond. She simply turned on her heel and began the trek through the clumps of snow and frozen mud.</p><p>Scylla stared out at the brick buildings housing studying soldiers and training cadets, biting her wind chapped lips before reluctantly following after the officer, ducking further into her coat as a miserly cold wind kicked up when she left the comfort of the tree’s protection, ruffling her hair and causing the tip of her nose to turn bright red. Fort Salem was quite beautiful in the cold wintery daylight. Sunlight glistened across the powdery white snow and icicles decorated the doorways and windowsills of the antique buildings. </p><p>A postcard worthy photo of pleasant aristocratic high atlantic life.</p><p>If only the base wasn’t a prison.</p><p>As they walked along, Scylla wet her dry lips, “I’m going to tell her.”</p><p>“The very fact you’re here less than a day after I told you she didn’t know alerted me to that fact."</p><p>“She deserves to know. She needs to know.”</p><p>Raelle had to know who was pulling the strings for the Spree.</p><p>That her mother was alive and leading the faction of freedom fighters, or terrorists depending on who you asked, that she would be assigned to. Who Scylla was working with.</p><p>She deserved to know her mom was alive.</p><p>Anacostia frowned, “Do you know what you’re doing?”</p><p>Scylla returned her frown and a questioning glance.</p><p>“Collar is unaware of her mother’s status. Has been for quite a while.” they reached the door to the building, Anacostia swiftly opening it and ushering Scylla in, “Do you really believe dropping this on her, now, when she already is working through the fact she is to be placed in a very dangerous environment and forced to be away from her friends and fellow soldiers for an extended period of time while fighting in a war, is the best option?”</p><p>“If your mom was alive, wouldn’t you want to know?”</p><p>Anacostia pursed her lips.</p><p>They reached the door to Anacostia’s room, and quickly entered, closing it behind them. </p><p>Scylla took a few steps in, stopping near the center of the small spartan space, “She is going to see her. Willa wants to meet Raelle. Talk with her. She needs to be prepared for that. I’m not going to let her walk in blind.”</p><p>Anacostia tilted her head, “You know how Collar will react to this.”</p><p>Not well.</p><p>There had been one topic that was always sensitive when it came to Raelle. There since the moment Scylla met her. </p><p>Raelle’s mom. </p><p>“Are you prepared for this to break whatever little trust you’ve seemed to have rebuilt?” Anacostia continued. “If I know one thing, Collar believes in honesty. You know that as well as I do. She will see this as a betrayal.”</p><p>“Then she sees it as a betrayal.” Scylla gripped the lighter tightly in her fist, the small piece of metal digging into her palm, “I’m not going to lie to her anymore.”</p><p>“If she decides she can’t trust you?”</p><p>“Then, at least she knows the truth.” </p><p>It would hurt like hell. </p><p>But, she promised not lie to Raelle ever again. To be honest. Forthright. Truthful. She wasn’t going to hold back because it might seem easier or safer. Not ever again. “I hurt her once. I lost her. I’m not going to lose her like that again. I will not hurt her like that again.”</p><p>Anacostia folded her arms, “If this team is going to work, every member needs to trust each other. If she doesn't trust you, it won’t work with you here.”</p><p>Scylla would not be welcomed in the small unit.</p><p>“She’s going to find out. I’d rather it be from someone who loves her. This is her life. Her choice. Enough has been hidden or kept from her. Enough people are worried about themselves instead of what is best for her. I’m not going to be one of them. I care about Raelle. What <em> she </em> wants, not what anyone else thinks is important.”</p><p>Anacostia stared at her.</p><p>Scylla didn’t back down.</p><p>“There are better times to do this.” Anacostia intoned.</p><p>“There’s never a good time to do this.”</p><p>The chime of a bell echoed in the distance. Anacostia glanced down at the watch on her wrist. “Classes are over. I sent for Collar to meet me here.”</p><p>Scylla bit the inside of her cheek, swaying lightly on her feet as the realization of what was about to happen, what might happen, hit her. She hid the sudden wave of panic, only the slight bob of her throat and tiniest of flickers at the corner of her mouth and jut of her chin indicating that she was not entirely serene.</p><p>Anacostia spoke gingerly, “Collar has a temper. But, she loves you. If you can get past the anger, she’ll believe you. She always believed in you.”</p><p>Scylla felt a heaviness in her chest and bit her cheek harder.</p><p>She wished that were true.</p><p>
  <em> I wish we never met, Scyl. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Was any of it real? </em>
</p><p>They waited, an anxious peacefulness hovering over the room.</p><p>Scylla felt her stomach churn as she spoke, “You’ll take care of her? If...if I can’t?”</p><p>If Raelle rejected her. Wanted nothing to do with her.</p><p>“I told you I would protect both of you. The fact you two are stubborn to a fault and make confounding decisions doesn’t change that.</p><p>A staccato tap against the door broke the silence that descended upon the room. Scylla stiffened, hands unconsciously going to her pockets, digging into the warm safe cocoon. Anacostia gave her a look before walking over and opening the door to reveal a slightly tired and rumpled but otherwise grumpily placid Raelle, eyes curious and bag slung over her shoulder, the regulation coat dusted with snow, the skies having opened up and white powdery flakes dotting the breeze.</p><p>“You sent for me?” she quirked an eyebrow at her former commander. “Didn’t know I was special enough to warrant an escort.”</p><p>Anacostia gestured for her to enter, “Come in.”</p><p>“I know Alder likes rapid deployments, but this is almost as quick as graduation…” her words died off as she spotted Scylla standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Her face lit up, “Scylla. Hey.”</p><p>“Hi, Raelle.” Scylla could’t stop the grin from forming.</p><p>Raelle rocked back on her heels before threading forward, not even hesitating before leaning in and pecking her cheek, “What are you doing here? Wait, are we actually deploying right now?”</p><p>“No,” Scylla swiped some of the snow off her shoulders, “I wanted to see you. I missed you.”</p><p>“I missed you, too.” she frowned, her brows cutely knitting together as she sensed something off, “Are you ok?”</p><p>Scylla took a breath, “Can we talk?”</p><p>Raelle’s eyes widened slightly, “Sure. Of course.” </p><p>Anacostia cleared her throat, “I need to speak with Sgt. L’Amara. I should be gone approximately thirty minutes.” </p><p>She was giving them time to be alone.</p><p>Scylla shot her a grateful glance.</p><p>As Anacostia left, Raelle frowned harder, “Scyl? What’s going on?”</p><p>Scylla took her hands, “Let’s sit down.”</p><p>“Or we can stand.” Raelle didn’t budge, her face serious, eyes searching, “Tell me what’s wrong. Did something happen? Did someone see you or…”</p><p>“No, nothing like that.” Scylla assured her, “I’m fine.”</p><p>Raelle wiggled a hand free, quickly touching Scylla’s face and neck, “Are you sure?”</p><p>“I swear,” it hurt how Raelle looked at her in that moment. The gentleness of her touch. The reminder that she was about to break the heart of the woman who loved her.</p><p>Who she had finally gotten back.</p><p>“Tell me what’s wrong. Something’s wrong, I know it.” She cupped her jaw, “You look pale.”</p><p>
  <em> Scylla, what’s wrong? You look pale. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Nothing. I’m good. I’m fine. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> You sure? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’m good. Let’s just dance. </em>
</p><p>Scylla blinked as the memory hit her, the exchange dancing across her mind as the lilt of the music and the warmth of the spring evening that enveloped them during their last moments together at the Bellweather wedding tickled her senses.</p><p>“Scyl?”</p><p>“I need to tell you something.” Scylla caught her hand, bringing it to her lips and kissing the backs of her fingers.</p><p>“You can tell me anything.”</p><p>Scylla breathed her in, letting this moment linger, committing it to memory and siphoning off strength from the feel of her lover so near, of <em> them </em>.</p><p>“You’re scaring me, Scylla.”</p><p>Brushing one last kiss against her knuckles, she let their joined hands drop to dangle between them. </p><p>“Scylla?”</p><p>“I need you to listen to me.” Scylla spoke quietly yet firmly. “Raelle, I need you to let me say this, and...and trust me. I never want to lie to you. I promise. I thought you knew, and when I found out you didn’t know, I knew I had to tell you. Immediately.”</p><p>Raelle leaned back warily, “What is it?”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, Raelle. But, you need to know. You should have known before you accepted our proposal. Alder and the Spree’s proposal. It wasn’t fair to you to have you do this without knowing what you really were getting into. There’s no good way to tell you this.”</p><p>“Just tell me.”</p><p>She paused. Took a moment. Gave herself one last second of peace. Of hope.</p><p>Of being with Raelle.</p><p>She couldn’t stop herself from leaning closer, stealing a quick kiss from supple lips. Raelle kissed her back, smiling worriedly into the touch. Scylla’s eyes closed, squeezing shut as she memorized the feeling that sparked inside of her at such a simple embrace. The way Raelle’s mouth fit against her own. The way she tasted. </p><p>“Scyl,” Raelle murmured as they broke apart.</p><p>Scylla wordlessly sent up a prayer for strength. For both of them.</p><p>“The leader of the Spree...of the cell you’ll be working with...is Willa Collar.” She held onto Raelle’s hands, “Your mom is alive, Raelle. She’s Spree.”</p><p>The room grew quiet.</p><p>Silent. </p><p>Deathly silent. </p><p>Too quiet.</p><p>The calm before the storm.</p><p>“What?” Raelle squinted at her, the one word as cold as the frozen tundra outside. Maybe even colder.</p><p>“Your mom is alive, Raelle. She’s a leader of the Spree.” Scylla started, but she was cut off as Raelle harshly let go of her hands.</p><p>“Stop.” Raelle gritted, “Whatever you’re trying to do here, stop.” </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Raelle.”</p><p>“I don’t know what you want right now, but this is really stupid. My mama is dead.”</p><p>“She’s alive, Raelle. I’ve seen her. Spoken with her. It’s her.”</p><p>“She’s dead, Scylla. She <em> died </em>.”</p><p>“Raelle…”</p><p>“Shut up!” Raelle exploded, hands flying into the air as her voice roared, a primal growl ripping from deep inside her, harsh and hardened, like poisoned knives burning with embers of molten pain and agony. “Are you kidding me?”</p><p>Scylla swallowed thickly, trying to brace herself, knowing what was to come but not truly knowing at all.</p><p>Knowing what Raelle’s temper looked like, but never experiencing it likes this. In the moment she discovered a true betrayal.</p><p>“I’m so stupid!” Raelle shouted, scoffing at herself in disdain. She angrily paced away, each step pounding into the floor, uneven and clumsy with rage and grief. Without warning, she whipped back around, blazing eyes boring into Scylla, “I trusted you! I stupidly let myself believe you actually would be honest with me. I’m such an idiot.”</p><p>“I am being honest, Raelle. I’m telling you the truth.”</p><p>“My mama is dead!” she spit out, words sharp. “Don’t try to give me your death is complicated bullshit. I know what death is like. She’s dead. She’s gone.”</p><p>Scylla pressed her lips together, forcing herself to let Raelle work through the anger. She wasn’t listening. Her eyes were nearly black with rage.</p><p>“What? Was it not enough that you played me once?” Raelle continued, “You...you come back here...and decided that it was so much fun breaking my heart once, making me fall for you and lying to me the entire time, that it’d be super great to do it a second time? You wanted to see if I could be an even bigger fool? That you could look at me and I’d do whatever you want? Believe anything you said? Another successful mark played.”</p><p>“It’s not like that.”</p><p>“It’s exactly like that!” Raelle was shaking, “All you do is lie. <em> Fine </em> . Lie to me. Tell me what you think I want to hear. That you love me. You want me. That I matter to you. But, <em> don’t </em> bring my family into this. That’s low, even for you.”</p><p>“I do love you.” Scylla spoke forcefully. “That’s why I’m telling you this. I know it doesn’t make any sense. I know. But, it’s true.”</p><p>Raelle shook her head, hands wild.</p><p>“What do I have to gain from this, Raelle? What? Why would I lie about this? Because I thought it’d somehow make you love me more? Get you to agree to a deal you already agreed to? I have nothing to gain here. Nothing.” She took a step, “I have <em> everything </em> to lose right now.”</p><p>“It’s not true. It’s not. I know my mama. She would never stay away from us. She would come home if she could. She wanted to come home. To my dad. Who is a <em> civilian </em>.”</p><p>“Rae,”</p><p>“One more lie, and I swear to the goddess…” Raelle growled.</p><p>Desperate to get through to her, Scylla scrambled, searching her mind for something, ignoring the feel of her own heart breaking, the abject anxiety roiling in her belly because she could feel Raelle slipping away from her, “She still has your lacrosse team photo.”</p><p>Raelle froze.</p><p>“From high school. Your freshman year, you were on the team. She still has the picture you sent her.”</p><p>“You’re making this up. You know I played.”</p><p>“I saw it. You were cute even then. You..you didn’t have as many braids. You didn’t have your scar. You had a black eye from a game, and you were proud about it because you got it scoring the winning goal.”</p><p>Raelle stared at her.</p><p>“You sent the photo to your mom with a letter telling her all about it. That your dad made you put a bag of frozen corn on it and took you for ice cream afterward. You actually went to the ice cream shop holding the corn to your eye.” </p><p>Raelle’s face threatened to drop, her features wanting to shatter.</p><p>“She’s alive, Raelle. I promise. It’s not a ruse or...it’s the truth.”</p><p>Raelle stood there, shaking so badly the melting snow on her coat began to fall, droplets crashing to the floor and puddling at her feet. Her hands raised unsteadily, open palms silently pushing away the brunette, feebly trying to protect herself from the words hanging in the air between them. She slowly seemed to fold in on herself, as if attempting to seek shelter within.</p><p>Scylla gave her space, though her entire body ached with the need to embrace her, comfort her. </p><p>“She’s alive?” Raelle whispered to herself, sounding like a child being told a wish was coming true, disbelief and wonder at the possibility of a miracle.</p><p>Scylla nodded, desperate to go to her.</p><p>The room went quiet as the blonde visibly fought with herself, working to understand.</p><p>Raelle’s voice was as dark as midnight when she finally spoke. Her eyes were little more than smoldering coal doused in gasoline with Scylla providing the match.</p><p>“If she’s alive...did you know?” Her voice rose, “Did you know, Scylla? Was this just another lie? Another thing to hold over me? To...to lure me in?” Her roar echoed off the walls, “My mama...is alive, and you kept it from me? This entire time? If she’s alive...”</p><p>“No!” Scylla stepped forward, stopping when Raelle’s hand slashed shakily through the air, teeth barred like a wild animal, a cub faced with danger and unable to defend itself but hoping against hope it’s snarl would protect it from whatever pain and darkness approached. “No, please, Raelle. I didn’t know. Not until after I escaped.”</p><p>Raelle waved her hands, “No, no this is perfect. I trusted you. Again. I let myself believe you actually meant what you said, and all you did was lie to me. You’ve never stopped lying to me.”</p><p>Scylla fought to stay calm, watching her entire life crumple before her eyes in the form of a desperate shattered woman, but knowing she had to fight, had to be the voice of reason in the hurricane of emotion and strife, “Raelle, please. I am not lying. I didn’t know. I would have told you. I swear. I would <em> never </em> do that to you. You have to believe me.”</p><p>“Like you would never lie about why you wanted to be with me? Why you sought me out, out of everyone? Why you kissed me?”</p><p>Scylla pursed her lips, a lump the size of a boulder threatening to choke away and block any words she might have, “I admitted I first met you because I was told to. But, I got to know you.”</p><p>Raelle shook her head roughly, turning away from her.</p><p>Scylla’s voice rose as the blonde motioned to leave, “I fell in love with you. I didn’t mean for it to happen. Hell, my life would have been so much easier if I hadn’t.”</p><p>Raelle scoffed.</p><p>“But, I would never ever take it back or give it up.” Scylla continued, voice growing ragged, “I would never not choose you. No matter what.” She sucked in air, lungs screaming, chest heaving as she began to feel lightheaded, as if no matter how much air she breathed in, it wasn’t enough. “I would never make you think someone you loved was gone when they weren’t, Raelle. I know what it’s like to lose a mom.” She gulped, “I know what it’s like to lose you. To think that your whole world, your family, is dead. I know how much it hurt you. How much hearing your mom was gone made you...feel the way you felt. I wished I could take that away from you. Everyday we were together, I wanted to see you smile. For you to be happy. For you to have back the one thing you missed so much. Not like this, though.”</p><p>Raelle ‘s hands swung wildly at her sides, the urge to punch something, to run, to release pent up energy that scorched her blood like hot pokers visible to anyone who looked. Her jaw locked so tight it was a wonder it didn’t break, “What else aren’t you telling me?” Tears coated her eyes, washing out the once bright blue and causing them to appear muted and dull, lifeless, dead. “What else, Scyl? Huh? Are you...with someone else? I’m just another fool who has fallen for you? Is...is my aunt alive? Am I going to have a great big family reunion? Maybe I have a long lost sibling I never met. We’ll have a party at the bed and breakfast. Maybe every promise I ever made to you was laughed at, reported back to my..my…”</p><p>“Raelle!” Scylla threw caution to the wind and dove forward, catching her arms and holding tight, anchoring her in place, “Look at me.”</p><p>Raelle refused, turning her head away.</p><p>“Raelle,” Scylla spoke calmly, but a thin thread of fear and frustration wove between her words, “I love you. I don’t know why she did this. She wouldn’t tell me. I tried. I fought to know.” Her chest rose and fell rapidly, her breaths coming in short terrified pants, “She said she wanted to protect you.”</p><p>“Of course. Everyone wants to protect me. You. Anacostia. My...mama.” she choked on the last word, her face twisting as it left her mouth. “Everyone is protecting me, and no one tells me anything.” She huffed, “When were you even going to tell me? Was anyone?”</p><p>“I thought you knew.” Scylla carefully let her hands glide up Raelle’s arms, not letting go, doing her best to physically anchor her to the ground, to that moment, “When I found out you didn’t, I knew I had to tell you. That’s why I’m telling you now.”</p><p>“Like you were going to tell me you were at the ball? That you’ve been working with Anacostia?”</p><p>“I didn’t know! I’m telling you now, Raelle. The first chance I have. This isn’t something to hurt you or make you do something. This is me telling you everything I know. Because out of everyone, you are the one who should know. The only reason I am telling you this is because I care about you and I want you to understand what’s happening. Understand the choices you have. You have a choice, Raelle. I promise. I’m not lying. I will never lie to you. Not again. There’s no reason for me to lie about this. Just like I told you everything under our tree, I am telling you the truth now.”</p><p>“No,” Raelle shook her head, “it’s...it’s not true. It can’t be. I was there when the army came and told us she was gone. I was there when we got the flag and her medal. I was there!”</p><p>“I know, Raelle. But, it’s true.”</p><p>“She...she wouldn't do that. My mama wouldn't leave us. She wouldn’t leave my dad. Not for anything. Not for <em> the Spree </em>. Whatever you think you saw or found out, it’s not real.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” she grasped her shoulders, hands sliding over to cup her neck, thumbs tenderly rubbing soothing circles against her skin.</p><p>Raelle’s lips quivered, voice fragile, “You don’t do that to someone you love. You don’t lie. You don’t leave them.”</p><p>Scylla held in a flinch, “You do if it keeps them safe. If you think it’s what’s best for them.”</p><p>Raelle looked at her, eyes a sea of splintered glass, “This isn’t real. This isn’t…”</p><p>Scylla drew closer, one hand sliding around to the back of her neck, massaging the tense muscles there as the other cupped her cheek, catching the lone tear that broke free and trickled down Raelle’s cheek as she pressed their foreheads together, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Raelle weakly pushed at her, whatever bare mask of control she had cracked and crumbling, “No. No.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” Scylla repeated, unable to stop her own tear from rolling down a pale cheek.</p><p>“Let go of me.”</p><p>Scylla held on, another tear dripping from her face as grieving fingers clawed at her coat, bunching the material and holding her close before trying to shove her away. </p><p>“No!” Raelle flung herself away from Scylla, stumbling backwards. “No.” She wiped at her face, sniffling as more tears fell, “This isn’t right. It’s not true.”</p><p>“Why would I lie about this, Raelle?” Scylla called out, “What do I have to gain from this?”</p><p>Raelle shook her head.</p><p>“I am telling you the truth, even if I might lose you forever, because you deserve to know.” Scylla ground out. “I have no reason to lie about this. Honestly, I have every reason to not tell you. To lie. To not let you know your mom is Spree and my boss. Because telling you the truth means you might hate me forever, but I’d rather that than lie to you and hurt you one more time. I’m choosing you.”</p><p>Raelle stared at the ground, fighting and failing to choke down a sob.</p><p>“Rae,” Scylla slowly approached her, like comforting a wild scared injured animal, “please.”</p><p>“She didn’t come home.” Raelle whispered. </p><p>“I know.”</p><p>Raelle finally looked up, face wet and stricken, “There wasn’t a body.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“They...she…”</p><p>Scylla closed the distance, cupping her cheeks, “I know, Rae. I know.” She caressed her face, “You’re ok. It’s ok. It’s going to be ok. I promise. Be right here with me, ok? Right here. Right now. We’ll figure it out. I swear.”</p><p>“Why would she do that?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Scylla kissed her forehead.</p><p>“She said she’d come home.”</p><p>Scylla closed her eyes, holding back her own sob.</p><p>“No. No, no, no.” Raelle wrenched herself free. “You’re wrong. This is wrong.”</p><p>“Raelle,”</p><p>“I don’t know if you’re lying about her being alive or about everyone knowing she was except for me. That my mama chose to leave me, and no one told me. Which lie is it? Know what, it doesn’t even matter. You’re still lying.” </p><p>“Damn it, Raelle, please,”</p><p>“Is this why the Spree wanted me? Because of my mama? Not because of…”</p><p>Scylla shrugged helplessly, “I don’t know. Raelle, please, I love you. I need you to trust me. One more time, I need you to believe me.”</p><p>“Every time I believe you, I’m wrong.” Raelle pointed at her, “Stay away from me, Scylla.” </p><p>“Please,” Scylla whimpered, begging for her to listen.</p><p>“Go to hell.” Raelle spat viciously. </p><p>Scylla staggered back, the verbal punch landing.</p><p>“I never should’ve helped you get in the dance. I never should’ve met you under the tree. I never should’ve let myself think anything was different.” Raelle jerked around, rushing toward the door. Needing to leave. To get away. To run as far and as fast as possible.</p><p>“Raelle!” Scylla cried out, “Don’t. Please. I know you’re angry. But, you know I’m telling you the truth. You know it. I swear on my life. I have never wanted to hurt you. I have never wanted to lie to you. I am sorry for every lie I ever told you, but I never did it to hurt you. I am telling you the truth. You said you don’t lie to the people you love. I love you. I’m not lying. Everyone might have their own agenda. The army. The Spree. Your mom. I don’t. The only thing I want is you alive and safe.” Her voice quivered, “I was told you died, Raelle. I lived that moment. I lived seeing the army kill my parents. I would <em> never </em> lie about something like this. I saw you when you first came to basic. You wanted to die, Raelle. I remember your hot garbage plan. If I knew for one second that your mom was alive and you didn’t know, I would have told you. I told you the second I got a chance once I knew you didn’t. Please, Rae, do not walk out that door. I know it's not easy to trust me. That <em> this </em> is new, <em> we’re </em> new again. It’s going to take work. But, you taught me that what we have is worth the work. You are worth the work. Please. We can figure this out. Stay. Let me help you. <em> Trust me </em>.”</p><p>The door swung open, Anacostia appearing in the frame.</p><p>She took in the scene, two young witches, tears streaming down their faces, misery in their broken eyes.</p><p>At the sight of her, Raelle croaked, “Did you know?” Her voice snapped into pieces, “Is it true? Is my mama alive? With the Spree?”</p><p>Anacostia gave her a grim glance.</p><p>“Is it?” Raelle screamed, voice hoarse.</p><p>Anacostia gave one firm nod, “Yes.”</p><p>Raelle looked like she’d been stabbed again, only this time by three knives in her back.</p><p>“Right. Of course.” Raelle nodded cynically. “More lies behind my back. Nothing’s changed.You both knew.” She snorted, “Trust in a unit. Bullshit.” She stormed forward, shouldering past the older woman, “Go back to your spy game shit. I’m done.”</p><p>“Cpl. Collar!” Anacostia barked at the retreating form. </p><p>Raelle ignored her, disappearing in a flurry of anger and snow.</p><p>“NO!” Scylla raced after her, but strong arms looped around her waist, holding her back.</p><p>“You can’t go out there yet, Ramshorn.” Anacostia warned, not letting her loose.</p><p>“Let me go.” She tried to break free, every emotionally weakened twist and pull thwarted.</p><p>“Let her go, Scylla.” Anacostia’s voice low and steady, “Let her go.”</p><p>“No,” Scylla summoned every ounce of strength left inside of her, channeled every emotion thrumming in her heart, and ripped free, nearly toppling over as she sprinted, not caring about anything except catching her girlfriend.</p><p>She couldn’t let her go.</p><p>Not like this.</p><p>A voice in the back of her mind told her she <em> should </em> let Raelle go, let her cool off, calm down. Logically, she should let them both regain control over their emotions, over the situation. That it was foolish to attempt to run after the other woman. Raelle was volatile, an emotional explosion waiting to detonate. Was too far in her head to see reason. To listen. </p><p>That she’d never run after someone before. </p><p>She ignored it.</p><p>Because, the last time they fought and Raelle walked away, they didn’t speak for almost a year.</p><p>
  <em> “I chose you, instead of them. I chose you. Please,”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Raelle didn’t turn around. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She didn’t look back. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She walked away, pounding on the door, not sparing one more glance at Scylla as she walked by Anacostia and left the basement dungeon. </em>
</p><p>And, goddess help her, Raelle would never admit it, but she shouldn’t be alone. Should not deal with any of this alone.</p><p>And Scylla couldn't guarantee Raelle wouldn’t do something recklessly irresponsible.</p><p>Something stupid.</p><p>
  <em> So, that was your big plan, then? Just ruin your chances for War College, get deployed too soon, and get blown up on the front lines because you suck so bad? Die young? Waste all that youth and beauty...and fury?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Yeah, kind of like that, but faster. </em>
</p><p>Scylla rammed through the door, head whipping side to side until she spotted a murky figure through the escalating snowfall. Gnashing her teeth together, she darted toward her, battling through crippling cold winds and slippery snowdrifts, leaping over patches of ice and struggling through greyish slush.</p><p>The weather had taken a turn for the worst.</p><p>“Raelle!” she shouted as loud as she could, voice snagging in the whistling wind. </p><p>The blonde’s speed picked up.</p><p>“Raelle!” she ignored the burning in her legs and lungs, throwing herself and nearly colliding with her lover.</p><p>Scylla reached for her hand, but Raelle snatched it away, tumbling back a step. Before she could say anything, Scylla tangled a hand in the fabric of Raelle’s coat, spinning her around and jerking her close.</p><p>Raelle grunted at the pull. She glared up at Scylla, “Damn it…”</p><p>Scylla kissed her.</p><p>Their mouths crashed together, teeth clicking and noses smushing, angles all wrong, movements out of sync.</p><p>Scylla didn’t care.</p><p>She kissed her, hard and deep, all of her fear and love and empathy painting the slant of her lips, coating the tip of her tongue. Lithe fingers framed Raelle’s face, palm warm against a chilled cheek. She put every single emotion she ever felt for Raelle into the kiss. The wetness of their cheeks melded together as Raelle began to kiss her back. Scylla wept when lips moved against her own. Raelle pressed ruthlessly against her, biting jaggedly at her lip, kiss turning merciless, bruising. Her hands callously clawed at Scylla, frenzied need to touch, to hold something. To feel something real and tangible beyond the cascading colliding thoughts and chaos in her head. Trying to let her anger take over, but all Scylla could taste was sadness and confusion. Pain. </p><p>Scylla broke the kiss, pressing her forehead to Raelle’s, gasping for air.</p><p>They stood there in the snow, unaware of the rest of the world around them, mouths so close they breathed as one. Raelle faltered, torn, wanting to kiss her again, loose herself in a hot mouth and hungry body, focus on the feel of skin instead of her own heart. She wanted to push Scylla away, push everything away. Block every thought, every memory, of childishly rereading letters, eagerly waiting for her mama to come home. Of beautiful blue eyes and dancing to one last song.</p><p>Scylla held on to her, wordlessly offering support. Love. Willing to give if Raelle would stay. Staying if Raelle would give.</p><p>Raelle moved first, eyes fluttering open. She gulped, face red with the cold and eyes from tears rapidly turning to tiny clear gems on her lashes. </p><p>Scylla’s thumb traced the cut of her cheekbone, “Raelle.”</p><p>At the sound of her name spoken so sweetly, Raelle completely broke down in Scylla’s arms.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As always, comments and kudos are loved and appreciated, just like the lovely readers to provide them. Check out my tumblr @thefabfan10 for randomness.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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